Sunday, June 14, 2009
10 Reasons Why The Pens' Cup Win Sucks
1 - Validation for Crosby lovers and man, do I hate Crosby lovers. As if the Caps bandwagon wasn't bad enough, this one is getting ridiculous. And Pens fans travel well so most every Eastern team will be stuck with them invading to chant for their boy hero.
2 - Now they will say Crosby's resume is complete, what with a Cup ring and all. Next stop? The Hall of Fame of course!
3 - Did you think all of those intermission features (even when the Pens weren't playing) were nauseating? Be prepared for more! Many, many, many more. Crosby's day with the Cup, Crosby's return to Cole Harbour as a champion, Crosby's first Cup vs. Gretzky's first Cup, Crosby and Malkin vs. Gretzky and Messier, Crosby's impact on ratings and sales, Crosby, Crosby, Crosby! Just shoot me now.
4 - We risk blindness every time Marc-Andre Fleury opens his mouth and unleashes that day-glo smile. It's just not worth it. And for that matter, Flower? The Flower won a Cup. No Mr. Zero, no China Wall, no Saint Patrick, no Dominator ... Flower. Gee wilikers.
5 - Hal Gill, Stanley Cup champion. 'Nuff said.
6 - Four former Islanders were on the Cup-winning roster: Fedotenko, Godard, Guerin and Satan. Seeing any Islander find success makes me feel ill; four of them? Hurl.
7 - On that note, the Pens were terrible and close to moving. They got a few top draft picks for sucking so bad and will get themselves a new building. If this means that the Islanders have another Cup in their future then I'm really going to be sick.
8 - Jordan Staal just got himself a Cup, joining his brother Eric. Now the two can gang up on poor Marc and he needs all the confidence he can get coming into Tortorella's no-defense-from-the-offense system this fall.
9 - Rob Scuderi's work in the Finals was outstanding. And how he will be a unrestricted free agent. If Jeff Finger could get $14 million over four years (and Redden $39 mil over six years), just imagine the payday for a legitimate playoff hero. And the lock out and salary cap were good things, right?
10 - And finally, every time the Rangers play the Pens next season it won't just be New York facing Pittsburgh, it will be the New York Rangers facing "the Stanley Cup defending Pittsburgh Penguins."