Since opening night is a day away, I look forward to getting a few questions of mine answered about the renovated Garden. Some are serious, some are sarcastic, but all are burning (like gonorrhea):
*Will Dolan dislocate his shoulder patting himself on the back?
*Just how many homeless people can you see from the new 'city views'??
*How many 'great new features' will be covered up by poorly painted sheetrock?
*Will ushers allow the real fans to lurk in the new seats to watch warmups? Or will our poorness stain the new fabric?
*Which will be sadder, the pre-game ceremony for Derek Boogaard or the power play?
*Will all Sean Avery shirts and jerseys be on sale? Will Torts be selling them himself, out on Seventh Ave?
*After fighting Orr, will Rupp go back to his usual job at the Museum of Natural History as part of the neanderthal exhibit?
*Given the prices, will they install a automated teller machine where you can take out a second mortgage on your house?
*Which will be higher? The attendance or the number of line combinations Tortorella tries?
*How will they ever top Ace Frehley??