Sunday, December 25, 2011

Santa Scotty 2012

So the NHL took tonight and tomorrow night off for Christmas (even though they didn't take off for Hannukah or Kwanzaa; tsk, tsk, how unpolitically correct). In the giving spirit, Santa Scotty is going to go around and bring presents to the Rangers ...


#42 Artem Anisimov: An official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot Range Model air rifle and a dvd of Enemy at the Gates.

#16 Sean Avery: A better ending to the story of his Ranger career then the one we are heading towards.

#22 Brian Boyle: Boxing lessons and pajamas.

#24 Ryan Callahan: More padding because every time he blocks a puck he risks yet another injury.

#40 Erik Christensen: A bus ticket out of town and a door to hit him on the ass on the way out.

#17 Brandon Dubinsky: A pet weasel named Shelley.

#26 Ruslan Fedotenko: Some ice for that face of his right now.

#10 Marian Gaborik: Rocket Richard Trophy.

#62 Carl Hagelin: A good nickname. With Ryan Bourque coming, the Swedish Chef's 'Bork bork bork' won't hold. Friend of the blog Andrea uses Shaggy Haggy but what if he cuts those blonde locks off?

#34 John Mitchell: I'd say Mitch has already received his gift because he is playing on Broadway.

#8 Brandon Prust: A healed shoulder, because it is clearly not 100%.

#19 Brad Richards: A big mattress to keep all of his money under.

#71 Mike Rupp: Whatever it was he had when he scored that hat trick against us way back when.

#21 Derek Stepan: His college degree. Really appreciate all he has done since leaving Wisconsin after his sophomore season but a degree is good to have.

#86 Wojtek Wolski: A nice cabin with a hot tub he can retire to. Immediately.

#36 Mats Zuccarello: A willingness to shoot the puck so he can get a NHL job again.


#41 Stu Bickel: More of whatever he is on now because whatever it is is working.

#4 Michael Del Zotto: A clue in the defensive end.

#44 Steve Eminger: A copy of the Mask to watch while recuperating. Get it? "It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!"

#53 Tim Erixon: About 10, 15 more pounds of muscle and two more seasons of experience.

#5 Dan Girardi: A one-timer as good as his son's.

#27 Ryan McDonagh: A luckier sweater. Ok, that is sorta for me because I'm pissed that my Whale McD jersey mushed him the one time I wore it to the Garden.

#38 Michael Sauer: A chin strap on his helmet so it doesn't pop off next time.

#18 Marc Staal: Just a little patience - this talk about coming back for the Classic is ridiculous.

#32 Anton Stralman: A tape of Christian Backman's play so he knows what not to do.

#6 Jeff Woywitka: Another job as his will disappear once Eminger gets back. Especially as Stu is here to stay! (I hope.)


#43 Marty Biron: Continued dominance over the Islanders, because that was awesome.

#30 Henrik Lundqvist: Seriously, this guy has it all - he can get gifts for everyone else.

And to all of you: Kind wishes during this holiday season for health, happiness and good hockey!!


Brandon F said...

They said on a broadcast that Hagelin tied Steven King for a rookie record with points in his first four games, so I was thinking a nickname of one of Stephen Kings 's books, like Carrie or The Shining.

Ranger Pundit said...

Scotty, how about Huge Hagelin?

I want to wish you the best of the season. A Merry and joyful Christmas and a wonderful New Year starting with The Classic.

Scotty Hockey said...

Pundit - I'm sure the ladies would love that ...

Anonymous said...

In all fairness, I picked up "Shaggy Haggy" from The Hockey Rodent. Must say, I like "The Shining," especially because the kid's supernatural on the PK, but it's easier to shout "Skate, Shaggy, goooo!" when at the Garden :-) "Huge" just reminds me of big bust Hugh Jessiman.

However, "A rose . . . By any other name would smell as sweet." As long as he keeps scoring, it's sweet all around!

Andrea said...

Since when am I anonymous!?! Pushed the wrong button, I guess. It's me, Andrea, quoting renowned hockey nickname maven, William Shakespeare.