New In Blue 2013

The opening of free agency is in the rear view mirror and Glen Sather largely kept his wallet in his pants. Sure the lowering salary cap had a lot to do with that, as did the need to re-sign several main cogs in the machine, but it was still uncharacteristic of the cigar smoker. It was even stranger as Sather so recently replaced his bench boss with someone who has a significantly different philosophy than the last one.

So what did Glen do for Vigneault? He waived Darroll Powe and Arron Asham and replaced them with Dominic Moore and Benoit Pouliot. He let Steve Eminger and Matt Gilroy walk and traded for Justin Falk and signed Aaron Johnson. Not exactly major changes to a team that burned out too fast two years ago and flunked so badly last season that they got their coach canned. But they were changes nonetheless, so here's a (late) look at the new boys who'll wear blue:

Dominic Moore (@mooredom): Dom is pulling a Kovalev by coming back to the team that drafted him after a few seasons astray. Everyone remembers this commercial, and in the days since Moore dressed for eight other franchises before coming back to Broadway. He's been in such demand because he hustles and plays an honest game. The Hah-vad grad won't rack up the points - although he has it in him to do so - but he brings consistency to one of the two bottom six center positions. Vignault hasn't been big on rolling four lines but with Step, Brass and Richard$ all ahead of him on the depth chart, it's lookin' like Dom will battle Boyle to be the fourth line pivot. He hasn't played since his wife passed away after a battle with cancer so it will be interesting to see how fast he can find his form and if he still has it in him to skate at the breakneck NHL pace. Hopefully the Rangers do something with him/in his wife's memory for Hockey Fights Cancer - a charity that usually is featured in October, when the Rangers will be on the road.

Benoit Pouliot: Pouliot is a bottom six guy with great hands and a big body he rarely uses, he's like an older, North American version of Arty Anisimov. Inconsistent and prone to facepalm turnovers, the former teammate of Marc Staal in juniors is also capable of breathtaking goals. It is interesting to read post-season reviews of his for the last three seasons - 2010-11, '11-12 and '13 - and we're left to wonder what kind of player will show up this fall. Could he click with Brass and Nash and put up 25 goals? Could he end up waived to the Wolf Pack? Not even gonna wager a guess at this point.

Justin Falk (@juicerfalk): First off, there is another guy with virtually the same name - Justin Faulk - and this guy isn't him. Faulk is a possible franchise defenseman for Carolina, Falk is a quiet giant. The 24 year old is a big boy at 6-foot-5 and is capable in his own end but, frustratingly, is not especially physical. If/when the organization decides McIlrath is not ready for the show, Falk could be a decent No. 6 defender who will cover for Del Zaster's del zasters - Stralman certainly couldn't do it and you don't want John Moore to be ruined that way.

Aaron Johnson: Because the Blueshirts don't have enough former Blue Jackets on the roster, they brought in Johnson. The 30-year-old journeyman is also a former ISLANDER and a junior teammate of Richard$ in Rimouski. Hard to see if he was brought in to help re-ignite Richie, to be a good room guy as the No. 7 defender or just to bolster the blue line in Hartford. Maybe all three; we'll see.

Not-So-Free Agents 2013

The opening of free agency is a virtual holiday in Canada but here in New York, Glen Sather has turned it into a day to be dreaded like the arrival of inlaws. There is simply no way of telling what the cigar smoker will do today but I figured I would break down 60 impending UFAs in simple terms - guys I'd want, guys I wouldn't mind and guys I wouldn't want. All of the names are from Capgeek's Free Agent list. Sorry for the clutter, don't have the time to make it too pretty.

There are no goalies listed, as Sather seems convinced Biron's ability in the room outweighs his incompetence on the ice. Speaking of incompetence, I immediately ruled out former Islanders and a number of former Blueshirts - no Redden, Gomez, Dvorak, Woywitka, Halpern, Cullen, Jagr, Antropov, Prospal, Stanley Cup Champion Rozsival or Pooooooootttttttiiiiiii. None of the current Ranger UFAs are worth re-signing either - Clowe, Hamrlik, Eminger, or Gilroy. Clowe has some upside but a well-paid power forward who plays tough that has a concussion history? That's a dangerous wager.

Some guys that are older or have been bought out are included on the list, obviously with the hope that they'll take pay cuts ...

Guys I Want On The Rangers

Name Position/Age/2011-12 Salary - Cause

Iginla, Jarome R PIT 36 $7,000,000 - Iggy didn't mesh with Pittsburgh but that doesn't change the fact that he is everything you want in a hockey player.
Scuderi, Rob D LAK 34 $3,400,000 - The New York native is a solid soldier at the back end and a Cup winner.
Cleary, Danny L DET 34 $2,800,000 - Hard hat guy with a Cup on his resume who is willing to go to the net.
Ference, Andrew D BOS 34 $2,250,000 - Solid soldier at the back end and a Cup winner.
Brunner, Damien R DET 27 $1,350,000 - Virtually no idea of what defense is but so skilled at the offensive end of the ice.

Guys I Wouldn't Mind On The Rangers

Name Position/Age/2011-12 Salary - Cause

Alfredsson, Daniel RW OTT 40 $4,875,000 - Veteran Swede has won with Hank before ...
Morrow, Brenden L PIT 34 $4,100,000 - Like Iggy, didn't fit with Pittsburgh but still one gritty guy.
Roy, Derek C VAN 30 $4,000,000 - Former PPG guy has a lot to prove to AV after stumbling with Vancouver.
Lydman, Toni D ANA 35 $3,000,000 - Fine Finn knows how to play his position.
Schultz, Jeff D WAS 27 $2,750,000 - Cut that salary down a bit and Schultz is a capable big bodied defenseman.
Sullivan, Steve L NJD 38 $2,600,000 - Veteran might be willing to empty the tank for one last run.
Raymond, Mason L VAN 27 $2,275,000 - Speedy forward who has underwhelmed to date but AV knows him well.
Gill, Hal D NASH 38 $2,000,000 - Have you seen his twitter account? And he knows how to use his huge frame to clear the crease.
Larose, Chad R CAR 31 $1,700,000 - Coming off an awful year, could be primed for a rebound.
Bozak, Tyler C TOR 27 $1,500,000 - Not a first line center but wins faceoffs and has some offensive ability.
Nystrom, Eric L DAL 30 $1,400,000 - Consistent bottom-six performer, worth it despite his diabolic dad.
Stalberg, Viktor L CHI 27 $875,000 - Speedy and coming off a Cup.
Hendricks, Matt L WAS 32 $825,000 - Heart and grit.
Blum, Jonathon D NAS 24 $650,000 - Former first rounder can carry the puck and needs a change of scenery.
Kostka, Mike D TOR 27 $600,000 - Certainly not the top pairing defenseman Toronto had him as at times, but a good 5-6 ...

Guys I Don't Want On The Rangers

Name Position/Age/2011-12 Salary - Cause

Grabovski, Mikhail C TOR 29 $5,500,000 - Bad attitude.
Ribeiro, Mike C WAS 33 $5,000,000 - Overrated.
Connolly, Tim C TOR 32 $4,750,000 - Concussed.
Hainsey, Ron D WPG 32 $4,500,000 - Underwhelming.
Komisarek, Mike D TOR 31 $4,500,000 - Slow.
Kaberle, Tomas D MTL 35 $4,250,000 - Haha.
Bouchard, Pierre-Marc R MIN 29 $4,080,000 - Injury case.
Whitney, Ryan D EDM 30 $4,000,000 - One dimensional.
Horton, Nathan R BOS 28 $4,000,000 - Concussed.
Gilbert, Tom D MIN 30 $4,000,000 - Soured real fast in Minnesota.
Kuba, Filip D FLA 36 $4,000,000 - Hamrlik 2.
Zidlicky, Marek D NJD 36 $4,000,000 - Old.
Gagne, Simon L PHI 33 $3,500,000 - Concussed.
Lombardi, Matthew C ANA 31 $3,500,000 - Meh.
Ryder, Michael R MTL 33 $3,500,000 - Will want a raise.
MacArthur, Clarke L TOR 28 $3,250,000 - Inconsistent.
Penner, Dustin L LAK 30 $3,250,000 - Cup winner will cost too much.
Weiss, Stephen C FLA 30 $3,100,000 - Underwhelming.
Filppula, Valtteri L DET 29 $3,000,000 - Insanely wants a raise.
White, Ian D DET 29 $2,875,000 - No Lidstrom, no results.
Clarkson, David R NJD 29 $2,666,667 - Boneheaded minor leaguer.
Murray, Douglas D PIT 33 $2,500,000 - Sadly proved too slow.
Colaiacovo, Carlo D DET 30 $2,500,000 - Don't want to try to type that often.

Handzus, Michal C CHI 36 $2,500,000 - Got his Cup, time to call it a career.
Aucoin, Adrian D CLB 39 $2,250,000 - Thought he had retired.
Zanon, Greg D COL 33 $2,250,000 - Nothing left but the beard.
Corvo, Joe D CAR 36 $2,000,000 - Uh oh.
Latendresse, Guillaume L OTT 26 $2,000,000 - Inconsistent.
Pardy, Adam D BUF 29 $2,000,000 - He made $2,000,000??
Cooke, Matt L PIT 34 $1,800,000 - Criminal.
Ponikarovsky, Alexei L NJD 33 $1,800,000 - Worse than Frolov.
O'Byrne, Ryan D TOR 28 $1,800,000 - Just, no.
Mueller, Peter R FLA 25 $1,725,000 - Great flow, nothing else.
Dupuis, Pascal R PIT 34 $1,500,000 - Fluke season will garner an insane raise.
Fistric, Mark D EDM 27 $1,475,000 - Physical, but not physical enough.
Gerbe, Nathan L BUF 25 $1,450,000 - Midget.
Comeau, Blake L CLB 27 $1,250,000 - Former Islander.
Steckel, David C ANA 31 $1,100,000 - Credit forever for injury Crosby, but nothing else.
Lapierre, Maxim C VAN 28 $1,000,000 - Fourth line penalty risk.
Hannan, Scott D SJS 34 $1,000,000 - Old, slow.

This is, of course, just my opinion so take it as it may. Last year I wanted Taylor Pyatt and didn't want Arron Asham. And look how both failed ... 

Halpern To Help

In 1926 the front office of the fledgling New York Rangers decided to market their goaltender Lorne Chabot as Lorn Chabotsky, in the hopes of appealing to the massive Jewish population of the city. Since then a few actual Jews have played on Broadway, including Hy Buller, '94 Black Ace Mike Hartman and Mathieu Schneider. And now Jeff Halpern will don a Blueshirt as well.

As with those guys, adding Halpern is no public relations gimmick. The recent Washington Capital fills the hole left by Blair Betts three years ago - a capable, consistent center who wins faceoffs, kills penalties and works his ass off. A former captain, Halpern will add some more veteran sense to the room and add another layer between Tortorella and the kids. He helps advance my Stockholm Syndrome theory, as he played for the egomaniacal dictator in Tampa in 2008.

This follows in the recent tradition of Glen Sather's signings - have one good addition, have one horrible addition. Well, after making the mistakes of Arron Asham and Micheal Haley, Sather has leveled the scales with Halpern and Taylor Pyatt. The only issue it presents is that the Blueshirts now have six fourth liners (if you include Haley as a NHLer, which he will hopefully never be again) and one first liner set to start next season. But the season is still a few months away so we just have to wait and see what Sather will do.

Taylor Time

The Rangers entered the offseason needing scoring help and defensive depth, so Glen Sather has gone out and added three bottom six soldiers. The newest addition is Taylor Pyatt, most recently of the Phoenix Coyotes.

Pyatt, on his fifth franchise at the age of 30, knows what he has to do to stay in the NHL and to be successful. As I mentioned on my free agent list, I hoped he would get signed because he is willing to pay the price and go to the net. The Blueshirts specialized in drive-by screening last season as guys (Boyle, Anisimov, etc.) would skate through the slot unwilling to take the punishment. When Cally and Kreider camped out good things happened but they clearly needed help. And now they have it.

While he is a low-line guy, Pyatt should be able to step up assist the attack. He won't score 25, 30 goals but if he contributes 15-20 and his effort gives the other guys more room - as he did with Phoenix - then the signing will be well worth it. The new guy's reputation helps eclipse the fact that his pedigree is soiled with the blue and orange of the Island. It will be his actions this fall that will keep the filth under the carpet.

Disappointing Opening Day Of Free Agency

Wow, is that a redundant headline or what? I mean, every opening day of free agency of Glen Sather's term has been disappointing to some degree or another. As the saying goes Trader Sather is a genius, Signer Sather is a fool.

And that fool continued to trouble Ranger fans as he tinkered with the team's roster. While he can't be blamed for Brandon Prust's greed, he can be hung for his idea of a replacement: Arron Asham. As he did with Donald Brashear, Sather signed one of the most loathed members of the opposition (who is all but certain to disappoint). Check that, two of the most loathed members - he also added Islander Micheal Haley.

Given that Asham has be-Deviled, be-Flyered, be-Penguined, be-Islandered the Blueshirts in the past all we can hope is that he does the same dirty, infuriating things against everyone else.

The signs are not good, especially when compared to the man he is replacing. In his career Asham has played in MSG 27 times and racked up all of one goal, one assist and 33 PIM. Asham has not played a full 82 game campaign his entire career; despite his injuries Prust did the last two seasons. Prust had nine shorthanded points in his last 164 games; Asham has three in 756. Asham blocked 40 total shots over the last three years, Prust blocked 51 this season. HOWEVER, the one good quality they share is that their teammates respond when they fight. I've mentioned the Prust stat a few thousand times and the Pens went 6-1-1 last season when Asham dropped the gloves (and he won too, going 7-1 in those bouts).

As for Haley, he is no more than a minor league neanderthal. With the group of prospects hitting Hartford this fall, it will be Haley's job to protect them. He has a long record with a good number of victories so hopefully he will intimidate the other teams into giving the kids who have futures some room.

Sadly Jonathan Audy-Marchessault won't be among them. The mite-sized scorer earned himself a spot in the Ranger franchise, earned himself a spot in the AHL All Star Game and Sather let him get away. It would have been nice to see JAM get a real shot with the Rangers, but that unlikely with Torts so at least Columbus will use him.

Another guy who had no future with the Rangers was Chad Johnson. Dos Nueve never earned the organization's trust but our old pal Maloney saw something and picked him up for the Coyotes. Like Al Montoya, he can go try to ply his trade in the desert.

John Mitchell is headed to the mountains as Colorado handed him a two-year deal. Tortorella may have loved him but few others did as he made some glaring mistakes and added virtually no offense.

Following that thread, Stu Bickel was re-signed by the Rangers. Tortorella's scapegoat, Stu will be back for two more seasons - or roughly a half hour of ice time - under the head coach's reign.

Kris Newbury also decided to return, taking a two-year, two-way contract. Heard he was a good team guy with the Whale so that will be good for the future Blue.

The near future is certain to see more moves, whether they be signings or trades. Gabby will be out for a while and, given the type of surgery, may never be the player he was again. So there is a mighty Nash/Parise/Whoever-sized hole in the lineup. It will be interesting to see which side of Sather addresses it.

Not-So-Free Agents 2012

The opening of free agency is a virtual holiday in Canada but here in New York, Glen Sather has turned it into a day to be dreaded like the arrival of inlaws. There is simply no way of telling what the cigar smoker will do on Sunday but I figured I would break down 60 impending UFAs in simple terms - guys I'd want, guys I wouldn't mind and guys I wouldn't want. All of the names are from Capgeek's Free Agent list. Sorry for the clutter, don't have the time to make it too pretty.

Even with the names below, the best idea I believe for the Blueshirts is to stay out of the free agent insanity and let the kids play. Mercenaries, by and large, have not worked too well for this franchise - just look at some of the names included in the poll on the right. There are kids coming up, Sather should not block their development with hired guns. The one exception being Justin Schultz, as he is a prospect himself; he is not included on the list below of UFAs as he has no NHL experience. They REALLY should sign him.

Guys I Want On The Rangers

Name Position/Age/2011-12 Salary - Cause

Adam Burish C DAL 29 $1,150,000 - Not quite Steve Ott but still a quality, defensively conscientious pest.
Shane Doan R PHO 35 $4,550,000 - If Coyotes leave Phoenix he may leave the Coyotes; hell yes. He takes losing personally.
Paul Gaustad C NAS 30 $2,300,000 - Imagine Boyle, but good at things like faceoffs and fighting and remaining consistent.
Jiri Hudler L DET 28 $2,875,000 - Great secondary scoring as long as the rate is reasonable.
Jaromir Jagr R PHI 40 $3,300,000 - Still scoring after all these years so as long as he isn't captain I'm ok with it,
Daymond Langkow C PHO 35 $4,500,000 - At a pay cut he could help balance out the lines a bit with solid, simple play.
Travis Moen L MTL 30 $1,500,000 - Blood n' guts team guy with a Cup to his credit.
Dominic Moore C SAN 31 $1,100,000 - Don't forget aboot it, the former Ranger is capable.
Shane O'Brien D COL 28 $1,100,000 - Tough, loved by teammates. Dammit, re-signed.
Jed Ortmeyer R MIN 33 $585,000 - It's Jed, I mean, c'mon! Jed!
Zach Parise L NJD 27 $6,000,000 - He's kinda good. I guess. Maybe.
Taylor Pyatt L PHO 30 $1,000,000 - Goes to the front of the net, the Rangers need that.
Steve Sullivan L PIT 37 $1,500,000 - Heart and soul and a little bit of scoring.
Ryan Suter D NAS 27 $3,500,000 - There's a reason why there will be a bidding war for this blueliner.
Ray Whitney L PHO 40 $3,000,000 - Worship the Wizard.

Guys I Wouldn't Mind On The Rangers

Name Position/Age/2011-12 Salary - Cause

Bryan Allen D CAR 31 $2,900,000 - Decent shutdown guy blocks shots and kills penalties.
Sheldon Brookbank D ANA 31 $750,000 - Gritty, solid citizen.
Ryan Carter C NJD 28 $750,000 - If you can't beat him (or beat him up) ...
Brett Clark D TBL 35 $1,500,000 - Veteran shot blocker.
Jason Garrison D FLA 27 $675,000 - First half was great, will want too much moolah.
Hal Gill D NAS 37 $2,250,000 - Slow but tough.
Jochen Hecht C BUF 35 $3,525,000 - Quite capable when healthy.
Kristian Huselius L CLB 33 $4,750,000 - Could be Vinny Prospal 2.0 if he can avoid fluke injuries.
Zenon Konopka C OTT 31 $700,000 - Fights, wins faceoffs. Also takes bad penalties though.
Michael Leighton G PHI 31 $1,550,000 - Helped the Flyers get to the Cup Final before being dumped.
Antero Niittymaki G SAN 32 $2,000,000 - Hank's rival in Turin; might be seeking redemption as he's sucked since.
Sean O'Donnell D CHI 40 $850,000 - Plenty of experience but quite slow.
George Parros R ANA 32 $875,000 - Can you imagine that mustache in NY??!?
Dustin Penner L LAK 29 $4,250,000 - After that playoff performance, who can turn down pancakes?
Bryce Salvador D NJD 36 $2,900,000 - As with Carter, if you can't beat him ...
Sheldon Souray D DAL 35 $1,650,000 - That slap shot, wow. But besides that, what's left?
Lee Stempniak R CGY 29 $1,900,000 - Average, two-way winger. Meh.

Guys I Don't Want On The Rangers

Name Position/Age/2011-12 Salary - Cause

Arron Asham R PIT 34 $775,000 - Man do I hate this guy.
Adrian Aucoin D PHO 38 $2,000,000 - Oooold.
Alex Auld G OTT 31 $1,000,000 - Auuuld.
Jason Blake L ANA 38 $4,000,000 - Former Islander scum.
Brad Boyes R BUF 30 $4,000,000 - Was never worth that money, still isn't.
Andrew Brunette L CHI 38 $2,000,000 - Oooold and sloooooow.
Matt Carle D PHI 27 $3,437,500 - Will want too much money.
Scott Clemmensen G FLA 34 $1,200,000 - Capable but cheaper options are available.
Ty Conklin G DET 36 $750,000 - Conk can't block a beachball anymore.
Joe Corvo D BOS 35 $2,250,000 - Uh Oh Corvo, no.
Radek Dvorak R DAL 35 $1,500,000 - Oooold.
Dan Ellis G ANA 32 $1,500,000 - Don't need his problems.
Kurtis Foster D MIN 30 $1,800,000 - Not the same since the broken leg.
Nicklas Hagman L ANA 32 $3,000,000 - Waaay too much money for waaay too little.
Scott Hannan D CGY 33 $1,000,000 - Far past his prime.
Mike Knuble R WAS 39 $2,000,000 - Sadly far past his prime.
Andrei Kostitsyn R NAS 27 $3,250,000 - An enigmatic Russian scorer? Why I never.
Filip Kuba D OTT 35 $3,700,000 - Older, slower, probably will stay in Ottawa. Or should.
Pavel Kubina D PHI 35 $3,850,000 - Soft Czech defenseman, been there/done that.
Sami Lepisto D CHI 27 $750,000 - Not much more than a seventh defender.
Torrey Mitchell C SAN 27 $1,366,667 - Low-line grinder.
Scott Nichol C STL 37 $700,000 - Old low-line grinder.
Cory Sarich D CGY 33 $3,600,000 - Play has dropped off dramatically.
Alex Semin R WAS 28 $6,700,000 - Heartless, gutless, enigmatic.
Jaro Spacek D CAR 38 $3,833,333 - Injury-prone and old.
Brett Sutter L CAR 25 $525,000 - Darryl's kid hasn't made the leap yet.
Colin White D SAN 34 $1,000,000 - Remember when he was a Devil? Yeah, no.
Dennis Wideman D WAS 29 $3,937,500 - Too expensive for a 3-4 defenseman.

Adding Andre

It's been slow, and I did a post about the Brendan Bell signing so here is a quick note about yesterday's addition: Andre Deveaux.

Where I wasn't too pleased about bringing in Bell, this signing makes more sense. Deveaux brings experience and a little bit of ability to a young Whale and replaces the toughness lost when Justin Soryal signed with Carolina. At 6'3, 240 he is solid enough to take on all comers and has tussled with some big names over the course of his career - Krys Barch, Shawn Thornton, Riley Cote, Brandon Prust, Ben Eager and Steve MacIntyre. He even beat up Ruslan Fedotenko once! Haha.

The former Maple Leaf will feel at home in Hartford alongside former teammates Kris Newbury and John Mitchell - you have to wonder why Sather is pulling a Burke and favouring truculence over winning experience but whatever. Deveaux should help teach the kids the professional ropes while making it a safer workplace for them, which is valuable as well.

Ring-A-Ding-Ding

This afternoon the Rangers signed defenseman Brendan Bell.

Bell played 29 games in the Swiss league last year and put up all of 11 points. By comparison, after Tyler Arnason defected from the Rangers he played nine games for the same team (EHC Biel) and had 10 points. Yeah. Sure Arnason is a forward - not a defenseman - but he is a bad forward.

While I recall Bell being a third pairing nobody on the Senators, he started his career with Toronto. And, for analysis, let's look at how what the Pension Plan Puppets wrote about him when they put him in a list of the WORST LEAFS since the lockout: "Brendan combined the defensive toughness of Phil Housley with the offensive flair of Garth Butcher."

And the Rangers just signed him. Why?

As Glen Sather did not place a comment in the press release, we are left to wonder what the hell could he have possibly been thinking? He can't possibly share the sentiment of new assistant Jeff Gorton, who said, "Brendan is a good character guy who gives us another player with experience who will compete for an NHL job in training camp."

Seriously?

The top seven Broadway blueliners are Staal, Girardi, Sauer, McDonagh, Erixon, Del Zotto and Eminger. Hartford's top four are spoken for with Wade Redden, Pavel Valentenko, Tomas Kindratek and Jyri Niemi. Stu Bickel, Lee Baldwin, Blake Parlett and Sam Klassen will all fight for the remaining two spots. So where does Bell fit? Do the Rangers really expect him to challenge Steve Eminger for the seventh defender spot or even a top six?

Maybe not, maybe they were just giving him lip service to seduce him into the organization. Perhaps they weren't and they really think there is something there. Perhaps there is a trade coming. Perhaps Redden has found a way to weasel out of his contract and get out of the bus league. I am leaning towards that one and, if so, then we have to hope that Bell can provide the same kind of guidance to the youngsters that the rich Redden did last season. Redden - once upon a time - was a top flight defender. Bell was ... not. He was a decent AHLer who appears to have failed overseas and came limping back looking for work. The Rangers - who have decent depth on D already - gave him a gig. We will see if he rewards their faith this fall.

Same Story, Different Ending?

In the last 25 minutes I've re-written the lede to this post nine times as the reality of the news has sunk in. Glen Sather gave Brad Richards a nine-year, $58.5 million deal. A man raked over the coals for the folly of his big money contracts time and time again just handed another one out. Well, we knew Sather didn't care about public perception, so why would he change? You would hope that he would learn from his mistakes - and it had appeared that he was starting to - but the simple truth is that you can't teach old dogs new tricks.

Of course, growing a young team and winning multiple Stanley Cups was something Sather has done before but that was so long in the past and he is so old that he likely has forgotten that has even happened. Instead, the GM has fallen back on the modus operandi that has defined his time in New York: analyze what is wrong and throw money at the problem.

In 2007 the Rangers had a problem. Michael Nylander wanted a multi-year deal for a decent amount of money. The 35 year old had just averaged a point per game for two seasons as the pivot for the Blueshirts star sniper Jaromir Jagr but he was 35 years old. So instead Sather looked at the free agent class and signed Scott Gomez. He didn't look and realize that there was no way the two could possibly possess the puck at the same time all the time. But he wanted a center, Gomez was out there and he signed him to a ridiculous deal. It didn't work out and Sather cut ties with Jagr. Then Sather cut ties with Gomez. Hamstrung by other insane signings, Sather was forced to embark on a youth movement. Times were tough but they were moving in the right direction. Except, his star sniper needed a center.

Seeing that supposed stud Chris Kreider has no confidence in himself or would rather party in college for another year or whatever, Sather needed someone to be the first line center and Richards was the best one available.

Over the last three seasons Richards played 208 games and collected 216 points as the first line center on the Dallas Stars. He looked great and he made Loui Eriksson into an All Star but, it must be said, Dallas didn't make the playoffs any of those three seasons. As Sean Avery found out, Dallas is not New York. But, in this case, this is a good thing: the Rangers have a far better back end then the Stars and are deeper up front.

When Gomez arrived he came to a team caught between styles - some lines played north-south, others played east-west. He was expected to share the puck with Jagr and, with a shrug and that damned smirk, he didn't put the effort in to adapt his game. Marian Gaborik is more Eriksson then he is Jagr and that should allow Richards to play his own high-tempo style without making major modifications.

The contract that he received is ridiculous but, let's face it, that doesn't matter. At 31 already, Richards will not play all nine years - the length of the deal is there to lower the annual cap hit. The Rangers have shed Drury and will bury Redden again so there is room for Richards this coming season. And if the experiment goes the way of Gomez, the upcoming expiration of the CBA should allow Sather to correct the mistake before it drags the franchise down.

Now it must be said that we don't know exactly who's idea signing Brad Richards was; it might not have been Sather's. With the NBA locking out their players this week Jimmy Dolan may have pulled the Rangers back out of his toybox and decided to play with them again - rumours yesterday had him talking to Richards to further seduce him to the dark side renovated Garden. John Tortorella may have pushed very hard for Richards, given their successful history and how frustrated he was with the Slovakian slacker Gaborik last season.

No matter who made the ultimate call, the simple fact is that the Rangers threw patience and the rebuild to the wind. The timetable has been pushed up - Dolan wants a winning team to justify the prices of the renovated Garden and who knows what is happening with the Knicks. There is little room for mistakes this coming hockey season, the Rangers not only have to make the playoffs, they will be expected to win a round or two. And they surely will be expected to win the Cup within the next three years before Gabby and Hank's current contracts finish. The Ranger brass believes that Brad Richards is the man who can make that happen. Let's pray they're right.

Mike F-ing Rupp!

Maybe it is best that Brad Richards has weighed his options and is taking his time making his decision for next season. Because, you know, rash impulses are not always correct impulses.

When the news broke that the Rangers decided to put their line in the lake of free agents and fished out Mike Rupp, I felt that it was ... uh ... not good:

@ScottyHockey Rupp? Ewwwwww.

@ScottyHockey The guy scores one hat trick & Sather signs him. Awful.

@ScottyHockey So angry.

@ScottyHockey Mike Rupp played for the Danbury Trashers of the UHL & was the perfect fit: he was garbage. What next? Sather adds Jarkko Ruutu for 5 years?

@ScottyHockey Can't Glen Sather go one July 1st without making a signing purely to piss off Ranger fans?

@ScottyHockey Tryin to hard to not hate this signing but not doing well. Won a Cup, skates 10 min a game, scored that hat trick. But he's MIKE F-ING RUPP!

@ScottyHockey Rupp had better spend serious time with Barb this summer because he won't keep up with Prust & Boyle if he skates the way he did last year.

@ScottyHockey Nice Rupp, you enjoy ticking off the Ranger fans. I'm sure you will continue to do it.

Now that last one was in response something Rupp said to the guys at TSN. You can hear it here. He said, "You get the opportunity as an opponent to go in there (MSG) and try to tick off as many fans as you can and you like to do that cause those fans are so good and so crazy."

And piss off fans at the Garden he has. Over the years Rupp has been a burr in the Rangers' saddle with his checking, his fighting and, yes, his scoring. His hat trick was one of the lowlights of my Garden-going experiences in the last ... well, the last ever. As a Ranger fan, that was humiliating. Well, now it is up to Rupp to make other teams' fans feel humiliated.

He comes in making almost twice what Brandon Prust makes ($1.5 million vs. 800k) and will be expected to put in at least the same amount of effort. Rupp needs to take some of the fighting off of Prust's fists, play good physical hockey in all three zones, win some faceoffs and teach the kids what it's like to win a Stanley Cup. It is the very last part that takes some of the sting out of having one of the Garden villains of the last decade come in and don a Blueshirt. The young core of Rangers need to keep growing and they need to learn how to win. Trading for someone like Bryan McCabe didn't do either; adding a guy like Mike Rupp should facilitate both. So, as you can see, in the last few hours my stance has changed on the newest Ranger addition.

Let's hope that over the next three years Rupp doesn't change it back.

Sather Signs A Sabre

It is not on the official Ranger website yet but all of the NHL writers on Twitter have announced that the Rangers have signed Tim Kennedy to what is expected to be a one-year, one-way, $550,000 deal.

Now that I got my initial outrage out, it looks like an actual solid signing. That is, when you consider where the franchise is and what its goals are. All of the Ranger actions run contrary to what they have said in public and show one thing: they are not going to give any of the kids a shot this season. The roster that has been methodically built this summer ensures that the Blueshirts will be competitive for the eighth spot this season - par for the course. However, they will give them a chance either in 2011 or 2012, quite likely 2012. Once he rids himself of Wade Redden, Glen Sather will have a team that can survive any possible labour stoppage when the CBA comes up. It will be young, it will be skilled and it will be pretty cheap. It will look good in the renovated Garden and justify the massive price increases that will come along with it.

But that is then and this is now. Now we have yet another capable third or fourth line player with something to prove. Kennedy skates hard, is defensively responsible and should be good for a dozen or so goals. He went through three seasons of college, one of the AHL and one in the NHL. He took Buffalo to arbitration, was justifiably awarded a $1 mill and the Sabres walked away. The Blueshirts are getting him for a little more than half that. Not bad.

The aforementioned outrage of mine stems from what the impact of the deal is. It all but assures Dale Weise will be back in Hartford and it puts even more pressure on Sean Avery. I think Weise worked hard enough last year that he should be rewarded with a shot and the added pressure will hurt Avery. Sean walks a fine line as is, now that he has to earn his job night after night, it will either knock him back to the ineffective form of last season or over the line to the craziness that led to his banishment. An in-form Sean Avery, as we have seen, is far more valuable to the franchise than a soldier like Kennedy.

A lot of the Sabre fans I know really liked Kennedy and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if he builds a following here in New York. We love our hard-hat guys. We just don't enjoy the mediocrity that has become acceptable fare for the Garden brass.

Pryvet Sasha

Well, it is official, the Rangers have signed Alexander "Sasha" Frolov. The terms appear to be one year, $3 million.

I want to make it clear - as it perhaps was not yesterday - I don't hate Frolov. I hate what he stands for. He is the latest mercenary that Sather has signed to maintain this mediocre team's meager reputation. As I tweeted yesterday, I want the franchise to "Either go 4 the Cup or build a team that can win 1. Don't set the bar at 8th place." By bringing in another hired gun, that is all that they are doing.

Tortorella and Sather said all the right things last month to get season ticket holders to re-up: 'youth will be served' and 'the kids will get every chance to make the lineup this fall.' Now that is certainly not the case. Adding a top six winger ensures that any of the skill kids will be on the outside looking in. For all of the hype about Mats Zuccarello-Aasen, his spot on the roster has now been filled. As we saw last season with Corey Locke and PA Parenteau, you can't put a small skill guy on the third or fourth line and have them be effective. Now, unless an injury bug hits the Blueshirts hard, the only open spot on offense will be the time-share with the Boogeyman on the fourth line.

Having Frolov come in one a one-year deal is good in that he will be motivated. He should - emphasize should - be playing with a chip on a shoulder. He needs to prove that he is the 35 goal guy of four years ago who deserves a big money contract rather than the one who lost his top-six slot last season and managed just 19 before being unceremoniously dumped by his team. He could be a high-octane sniper who can come in and give Arty Anisimov some confidence. Replacing Arty's boyfriend Enver with a mentor who speaks his language hopefully will be quite the boon.

And that is all we can hope for. Youth will never be properly served in New York, no matter how much we may want it to be. The big brass feels that they have to ease it in one or two guys a season. It is incredibly frustrating because that isn't the way to build a Stanley Cup contender in today's league. I saw the Stanley Cup raised just feet away from me in Philadelphia last month so forgive me if I want to see it raised in New York sometime soon.

Keep Bringin' The Pain

As if this free agency period wasn't bad enough, the Islanders added P.A. Parenteau and Zenon Konopka today.

Losing a Ranger to a rival always hurts and Parenteau is not an exception. He won over more than a few fans with his shootout skills. Of course, he still was little more than a complimentary player so letting the little man isn't a big deal. Hopefully another Hartford winger will take his place; perhaps Dale Weise, who could bring more size and toughness with a decent pair of hands.

Speaking of toughness, the Konopka deal kills me. The Rangers give one-dimensional goon Derek Boogaard a four year deal for stupid money, citing his age as the determining factor in their decision in selecting him over Shelley. But what reasoning could there be to pick him over Konopka? Konopka is only a year and a half older and took a one year deal.

I could get into Boogaard's failures as a deterrent; Mikka Koivu lost how many games because of cheap shots? The Tampa tough guy - along with Steve Downie-Syndrome - allowed Steve Stamkos to flourish last season into a superstar.

Konopka, like Shelley, was highly regarded as his teammates. No one in Minnesota has come out saying they will miss the Boogeyman, at least not that I have read. Boogey skates six minutes a night, Konopka eight. Konopka played in 17 more games and had 33 fight majors to Boogey's nine. And, AND Konopka ranked second on Tampa in faceoff percent with 62.5. If Boogey ever took a faceoff, well there would be something seriously, seriously wrong.

The Rangers could have gotten a goon like they wanted AND a worthwhile fourth line center. Instead we are looking at a fall with Brian Boyle coming back in that role. Brian Boyle. Playing alongside Boogaard. And some of us are paying to watch them play. How dumb are we?

Better question, how is it that every July 1st brings a spell of insanity in Sather? Or is it just stupidity? It is just a shame that Glen does his damnedest to avoid us fans so we will never get the answers.

Not So Free Agents

With so much going on, I figured it would be best to do one big wrap of the day's bigger signings, with quick looks at most of them:

Colby Armstrong to Toronto, 3 years, $9M: Leafs keep following Burke's plan, adding truculence. And Colby has leadership and some offensive skills. Good deal.

Matt Cullen to Minnesota, 3 years, $10.5M: Wild fans can expect a listless, uninterested, overpaid center who will decide to show up only when not feeling so homesick for Carolina that he calls into their broadcasts lamenting leaving Raleigh.

Dan Ellis to Tampa Bay, 2 years, $3M: Ellis will battle Mike Smith for starting time and hopefully that will make both better. Stevie Y is looking as smart off the ice as he was on it, adding Ellis and re-signing little Marty St. Louis. Tampa will be a lot better next season.

Kurtis Foster to Edmonton, 2 years, $3.6M: Big slap shot to go with good puck skills and some toughness, Sheldon Souray's replacement is younger, stronger and healthier. Good addition for Tom Renney's team.

Sergei Gonchar to Ottawa, 3 years, $16.5M: Gonchar keeps the same 5.5 salary he made with Pittsburgh and brings his sublime offensive skills to a team that desperately needs them. He is the Wade Redden replacement that they needed years ago and should hugely improve their power play with Spezza and Alfredsson.

Dan Hamhuis to Vancouver, 6 years, $27M: Canucks overpay for an overrated defender but after watching Luongo go swimming after rebounds last spring, they had to do something.

Olli Jokinen to Calgary, 2 years, $6M: Hahaha!! And I thought Sather would come through for Olli and we would all be left scratching our heads. Instead it is the poor Flames fans. Poor, poor Flames fans.

Toni Lydman to Anaheim, 3 years, $9M: Solid and steady Finn will help add stability to a blueline rocked by the loss of Niedermayer. Add in Saku Koivu re-upping, and the odds of Teemu coming through another season just jumped up.

Manny Malhotra to Vancouver, 3 years, $7.5M: Big money deal for our former top draft pick, Manny will be a rock in the middle for the Canucks. He can contribute on both sides of the ice and is stellar in the faceoff circle. That being said, a third liner making more than two mil a year is a lot ... but the Rangers pay theirs over seven so whatever ...

Chris Mason to Atlanta 2 years, $3.7M: Just in case Pavelic isn't ready, the Thrashers add a good goalie who can easily start 60 games and steal more than a few of them.

Paul Martin to Pittsburgh, 5 years, $25M: Amazing that Martin left Newark for just a 500k raise but how can you blame him? Martin gets a legitimate chance at a Stanley Cup run with the Pens. Pittsburgh doesn't replace Gonchar's offense but Martin helps in all three zones, not just the front two.

Zbynek Michalek to Pittsburgh, 5 years, $20M: When you consider the Pens added Martin too, this signing is HUGE. Michalek gets a massive raise from the 1.5 million he made last season but he is well worth the money, especially at just 26 years old.

Antero Niittymaki to San Jose, 2 years, $4M: It woulda been great to see the two 2006 Olympic gold medal game goaltenders holding court in New York but two mil a season for a backup is a bit much. San Jose was desperate to get someone in there and they got a guy who comes cheaper than the top flight but is capable of top flight goaltender. Sometimes.

Sean O’Donnell to Philadelphia, 1 year, $1M: Big, tough, smart and experienced, O'Donnell is a big addition for the Bullies. They make a huge improvement over Bartulis and Krajicek with O'Donnell and Andrej Meszaros.

Henrik Tallinder to New Jersey, 4 years, $13.5M: Another steady defender, Tallinder should quietly fit in and fill a third or fourth defenseman roll there.

Alex Tanguay to Calgary, 1 year, $1.7M: Tanguay took a 800k pay cut to go back to Calgary where he will reunite with Jarome Iginla and hopefully re-ignite his career.

Jody Shelley to Philadelphia, 3 years, $3.3M: What can you say? Philly adds class and toughness, perhaps even improving on Arron Asham, who is likely to sign elsewhere.

Ray Whitney to Phoenix, 2 years, $6M: The Wizard has serious skills, even at his age. He may take some ice time away from Prucha but he also may help Pru become a better player. The Yotes can certainly hope ...

Anton Volchenkov to New Jersey, 6 years, $25.5 M: Anton, meet Avery. Avery, meet Anton. Strong shot blocker should become close 'friends' with Sean this coming season.

Vinny's Back

@NYP_Brooksie: Prospal in for over 35 one yr deal with bonuses... // Prospal $1M base with another $1.1 or so in easily achievable bonuses

Well, Torts liked Vinny, Vinny liked New York so he comes back for another go-around. As I said in the Facts of Life, Vinny disappeared when the going got tough. He has his moments - slipping past D only to pop up for a goal down low - but his consistency needs to be better for a veteran presence around a younger Ranger team.

The Derek Debate

The Rangers certainly know how to get people talking about them, despite the absence of a winning team and this afternoon's signing of Derek Boogaard certainly does it. It opens the floodgates with questions:

"Is this worse than the Brashear signing last year?"

"If you were going to give this much money away, why not re-sign Jody Shelley?"

"Does Glen Sather realize that it is 2010?"

"How soon until Boogaard gets Kasparaitis'd to the KHL?"

"Where will Boogaard go down in the ranks of Ranger goons? With Roman Ndur (thanks Jim!)? Shane Churla? Rudy Poeschek? Nick Fotiu?"

"Do you think you can skate better than Boogaard?"

Frankly, there are no answers just yet. It would be alright that Boogaard hasn't scored a goal in four years if he was a big fighter but he had just nine fight majors last season - not enough to rank in the top 40 tough guys in the league. Sure he went 8-1-1 according to Hockey Fights but who cares? The guy plays three out of every four games, skates just over six minutes per game and adds nothing offensively. Sounds just about right for someone getting a four-year contract worth $1.65 million per. Right?

It is astounding how Sather can be so good at trading players and so very, very stupid when it comes to signing them.

Moves Down The Middle

New York Rangers President and General Manager Glen Sather announced today that the club has agreed to terms with forward Derek Stepan. ... This season, Stepan registered 12 goals and 42 assists for 54 points, along with eight penalty minutes in 41 games with the University of Wisconsin Badgers of the Western Collegiate Hockey Association (WCHA). ... The 6-0, 190-pounder skated in 81 career NCAA games over two seasons with Wisconsin, recording 21 goals and 66 assists for 87 points, along with 14 penalty minutes. ... The Hastings, Minnesota native was originally the Rangers second round choice, 51st overall, in the 2008 NHL Entry Draft. His father, Brad, was also drafted by the Blueshirts as a fifth round choice, 91st overall, in 1985.

Happy to get the kid in the fold but it is hard to see him at center ice in the Garden this year. The jump from college to the NHL has to run through the Canadian juniors or the AHL to be successful.

New York Rangers President and General Manager Glen Sather announced today that the club has agreed to terms with center Erik Christensen on a new contract. ... Christensen, 26, skated in 49 games with the Rangers this season, registering eight goals and 18 assists for 26 points, along with 24 penalty minutes and a plus-14 rating.

Christy showed good chemistry with Gabby right off the bat, and then again once Torts got his head out of his rear end and reunited them during the run at the end of the season. He is a cheap skill center that fits under the cap and still has room to improve at his age. At the least, when his two year deal is up, Stepan will be ready to step in and take his job.

And Hank's New Backup Is ...

Martin Biron.

Glen Sather went for an aging player who's best days are behind him. What a surprise. The failure on the Fishermen probably came highly recommended by Chris Drury, who's advice is worth as much as his point total - virtually nothing. Ales Kotalik was highly recommended by the captain and look what happened there.

Biron was a stellar goaltender ... in 2001.

He was a decent goaltender ... in 2007.

He was a terrible goaltender last year.

See a trend there? The Blueshirts picked up a guy who's numbers have gone up each of the last two seasons while his number of starts have gone down. The fact that he played behind the horrible Isles last season is irrelevant - a good goaltender on a bad team would still be able to put up a decent save percentage, just look at anyone who played net for Florida since their inception. Biron's was below .900.

A good backup goaltender needs to be able to come in to give the team a chance to win, and there were far better goaltenders out there. That being said, when Glen decided that Chad Johnson simply was not good enough yet to play in the NHL, he set himself upon finding a veteran. He got one and at a good price - even in the saturated market of netminders, few vets were likely desperate enough to take a deal for 875k. Glen found one that would. Alex Auld, last season's stopgap, took one million from Montreal. Hope that 125k is worth losing an additional few games ... just the difference between making the playoffs and not.

I hope that Hank can handle another 70 start season.

Scotty's Early Look At The UFAs

The opening of free agency on Thursday is a virtual holiday in Canada but here in New York, Glen Sather has turned it into a day to be dreaded like the arrival of inlaws. There is simply no way of telling what the cigar smoker will do but I figured I would break down the impending UFAs in simple terms - guys I'd want, guys I wouldn't mind and guys I wouldn't want - without too much discussion of salary. In the days coming there will be a similar breakdown of RFAs and possible trade targets.

But we begin with the unrestricted guys; I left out some vets who will either re-sign with their teams or retire as well as many AHLers/nobodies but I think I covered the UFA market pretty well. All of the names were from Capgeek's UFA Finder when I started this a few weeks back (and promptly forgot about it). I added a short explanation beside each player, with a longer reasoning for the guys I would sign as GM. Sorry if it looks a bit jumbled, there is a lot there. It is (obviously) in alphabetical order.

Guys I Want On The Rangers
Steve Begin - Boyle is terrible; Begin would be a great replacement should none of the kids be fit to step into that fourth line spot. He is the kind of guy who would run through a wall for a teammate and is tough all over the ice.

Dan Ellis - Ellis was dealt to Montreal, well, his rights were. Wouldn't riding shotgun for Hank be more preferable to being under the microscope, even behind Jesus Price?

Anders Eriksson - Eriksson proved Leaf fans wrong by showing he is still capable of solid, steady play. He was a fantastic fill-in at the end of the year and would be a good stop-gap should McDonagh decide to head back to school.

Kurtis Foster - He's big, he's pretty tough and that slap shot of his is just so tempting a tool to add to the arsenal and he would be so much cheaper than Sheldon Souray.

Paul Martin - An exception to my No Devil rule, Martin is worth taking because he can eat up minutes, move the puck and play smart hockey. A younger, better version of the Bruce Driver we had ...

Zbynek Michalek - Shot-blocker extraordinaire would be cheaper alternative to Volchenkov. And it would be nice to finally get something worthwhile back from Don Maloney.

Willie Mitchell - If not for his concussion, I truly believe Vancouver would have beaten Chicago. Mitchell is one of the best defensive defensemen in the league and, if his head is ok, would be worth outbidding the Canucks for his services.

Antero Niittymaki - Seeing as the team is ready to crush Chad DosNueve's confidence and bring in a vet instead, the Finn absolutely dominates at times. Even when Finland lost to Hank and Sweden back in '06, Nitty was outstanding. I fully believe that the Finns underachieved in Vancouver because they didn't start him.

Jody Shelley - Grizzled, tough vet is a legitimate enforcer who proved he can play a little. He took steps towards leadership at the end of the season and has been called a great team guy everywhere he has gone.

Anton Volchenkov - Possibly the best shot-blocking defenseman in the league, Volchenkov can hit a little too and would provide some relief to Hank. But only if the cost is not Redden-esque ...

Ray Whitney - The wizard is old but still has the hands that has made him one of the most underrated players of the last decade. Seeing as Grachev isn't likely to be ready for full-time NHL work, Whitney would be the best solution to come in and add instant offense while we wait for the big Russian.

Guys I Wouldn't Mind On The Rangers
Colby Armstrong - Great team guy but not enough offense.
Alex Auld - Did well in short stay, can he handle more?
Eric Belanger - Old-time hockey player - took out his own tooth on the bench! - and is good at faceoffs.
Adam Burish - Already have Sean Avery.
Erik Christensen - Just worked to get a job for next season and then spurned the team when they wanted to give him one. Shmuck.
Mark Eaton - Not flashy but solid when healthy.
Andrew Ebbett - Shown great assist skills with Ducks, disappointed with Wild.
Ruslan Fedotenko - Always tough against us ...
Alexander Frolov - Offensive talent but at what cost?
Sergei Gonchar - Old but so very, very good.
Johan Hedberg - Mooooooose would get lit up from time to time in Atlanta.
Jeff Halpern - Nice Jewish boy but a low-liner.
Shane Hnidy - Gritty defender but slow and no offense.
Zenon Konopka - NHL fight king and a top faceoff guy but I want Shelley more.
Saku Koivu - Cancer survivor sees the ice so well; how much is left in the tank?
Slava Kozlov - Shootout specialist always lights up the Rangers.
Andreas Lilja - When healthy he's solid.
Michael Leighton - Look at what happened in Philly.
Matt Lombardi - Skilled center, but Christy may be cheaper to keep.
Toni Lydman - Quiet Finn loves metal and plays solid D but was hurt last year.
Manny Malhotra - Former top pick turned dependable third liner - would replace Drury well, haha.
Jay McKee - Former shot-blocker extraordinaire might still have some skill.
Glen Metropolit - Hard worker but a low-liner.
Dominic Moore - Eh, forget aboot it.
Owen Nolan - Oldie but goodie; tough as nails.
Sean O'Donnell - Oldie but goodie; tough as nails.
Jed Ortmeyer - Jed!
P.A. Parenteau - Loved the shootouts, underwhelmed by regulation play.
Corey Potter - The Rangers invested so much time in him already, why not give him a real shot?
Ruslan Salei - Belarussian stalwart is getting old.
Henrik Tallinder - Swedish Olympian not flashy but solid and friend of Hank.
Shawn Thornton - Love the toughness but hope to have Prust and Shelley.
Stephane Veilleux - Great penalty killing fourth liner, but no room for him.
Mike Weaver - Quiet but good, smart defenseman.

Guys I Don't Want On The Rangers
Max Afinigenov - Enigmatic Russian.
Evgeny Artyukhin - Oversized, undertalented.
Arron Asham - Dirtbag.
Adrian Aucoin - Former Islander.
Marc-Andre Bergeron - One-dimensional.
Martin Biron - Best days behind him.
Nick Boynton - Slow.
Kyle Calder - Moments few and far between.
Carlo Colaiacovo - Ask a Leafs fan.
Mike Comrie - Hilary Duff.
Craig Conroy - Old.
Joe Corvo - "Oh No!" Corvo.
Matt Cullen - Been there, done that.
Pavol Demitra - Old and injury prone, even if he was buds with Gaborik in Minnie.
Matt Ellis - Depth guy with no upside.
Ray Emery - Goon goalie.
Garnet Exelby - Headhunter.
Dan Hamhuis - Overrated.
Matt Hendricks - Meh.
Chris Higgins - At least he tried.
Andy Hilbert - Islander.
Hugh Jessiman - Ugh.
Aaron Johnson - Mediocre.
Kim Johnsson - Old.
Olli Jokinen - Flyers Stanley Cup Finalists.
Randy Jones - Not the same since the hit.
Milan Jurcina - Really? No.
Paul Kariya - Old.
Ilya Kovalchuk - No defense, lotsa money.
Lukas Krajicek - No vision.
Pavel Kubina - Overrated.
Patrick Lalime - Ask a Sabre fan.
Robert Lang - Old.
Brett Lebda - Spotty.
Manny Legace - Watch out for those carpets.
Jere Lehtinen - Old and injury-prone.
Jordan Leopold - Clueless.
Jamie Lundmark - Sorry.
John Madden - Old Devil.
Adam Mair - Thug.
Paul Mara - Miss the beard, not the player.
Chris Mason - Love the beard, don't need a starter.
Jamal Mayers - Good team guy, but little else.
Freddy Meyer - Islander.
Brian McGrattan - Goon.
Freddie Modin - Inconsistent.
Derek Morris - Overrated and overpaid.
Brendan Morison - This isn't Vancouver '03.
Shaone Morrisonn - Meh.
Mike Mottau - Devil.
Evgeni Nabokov - Choke job.
Eric Nystrom - Hate his dad.
Richard Park - Islander.
Matt Pettinger - Have enough third-line guys.
Fernando Pisani - Our players have asthma, not colitis.
Alexei Ponikarovsky - Look at what he didn't do with Crosby.
Brian Pothier - Never the same since Lucic hit.
Andrew Raycroft - Ask a Leafs fan.
Miro Satan - Belongs in Jersey.
Matt Schneider - Too old for a second tour.
Christoph Schubert - Former Olympian was on waiver wire.
Jon Sim - Islander.
Martin Skoula - Other options for veteran 7th D.
Lee Stempniak - Phoenix aside, not particularly good.
Jason Strudwick - As a coach maybe.
Andy Sutton - Not an expert.
Marek Svatos - Enigmatic.
Petr Sykora - Couldn't keep a job in offense-starved Minnesota.
Alex Tanguay - Declined last three seasons.
Jose Theodore - Three-Or-More.
Raffi Torres - Did nothing for Buffalo.
Vesa Toskala - Ask a Leafs fan.
Marty Turco - Not a backup; hates Avery.
Mike Van Ryn - Injury-prone.
Scott Walker - Lost a step.
Aaron Ward - Scum.
Kyle Wellwood - Tubby Too-Slow.
Jason Williams - Injury-prone.
Brad Winchester - Already have Prust.
Stephane Yelle - Old.

Newbury Will Be Back

New York, June 16, 2010 – New York Rangers President and General Manager Glen Sather announced today that the club has agreed to terms with forward Kris Newbury on a contract extension.

Newbury, 28, skated in 18 games with the Hartford Wolf Pack of the American Hockey League (AHL) this season, registering four goals and 14 assists for 18 points, along with 61 penalty minutes. He tied for the Wolf Pack lead in scoring with 18 points in 18 games after joining the team on March 6 at Hamilton, following his trade to the Rangers from Detroit, in exchange for Jordan Owens, on March 3.

The 5-10, 205-pounder has skated in 48 career NHL contests with the Toronto Maple Leafs and Detroit Red Wings, registering four goals and three assists, along with 64 penalty minutes. ... The Brampton, Ontario native was originally selected as San Jose’s fifth round pick, 139th overall, in the 2002 NHL Entry Draft.

Meh, minor league thug. At least they didn't deal away Jordan Owens for a rental.