Avery-Proof Equipment??

As the NHL and NHLPA announced today, a committee has been formed to find ways to make goaltender equipment smaller while maintaining its protection. Even though goal scoring is actually up these playoffs, I think its a great idea as netminders have turned into Marshmallow Men.

In an odd choice, the three goaltenders included in said committee are: Martin Brodeur of New Jersey, Rick DiPietro of the New York Islanders, Ryan Miller of Buffalo. What do they have in common? None of the three are playing right now. All three are from New York-area teams. All three have a healthy dislike for a certain Sean Avery. Wonder what equipment changes they may come up with:

*Sharper stick blades, better to chop him in the groin.

*Extendable blockers, better to punch him in the back of the head.

*Weighted catching gloves, better to knock him out of the way.

*Masks that stay on, so they don't look like this.

*Chest protector with a spring loaded boxing glove inside, so they don't have to leave the crease to clock him.

*Margarita mix in water bottles, so they can put all of the ice shavings to good use; easier to cope when drunk.

*X-ray vision goggles, so they can see though him. Or blinders, so they can ignore him.

*And you can't forget sunblock dispensers on top of the net, to keep away the burns from the red light as he scores.