NHL Awards Wrap

I have to keep this brief as its past 7 a.m., I just got home from work, photoshopped the Vezina onto a picture of the fattest man on earth and want to wake up by noon to watch Romania beat on the Italians in Euro 2008. So, lets get right into what happened in Toronto last night:

*Nabby got robbed by Flabby.

*The NHL hates Swedes (Backstrom and Zetterberg should have won; Hank has to watch the Krispy Kream Krybaby win the Vezina; and Nick Lidstrom doesn't count since he sounds like he is from Grand Rapids at this point).

*Bruce Boudreau looks like Mickey Rooney.

*Alexander Ovechkin is a more endearing superstar than Cindy Crosby ever will be.

*Ron MacLean is not funny.

*Not being able to speak English is (thanks Pavel).

*Versus can't tell time.

*Dom Hasek is still bitter about losing his starting job to Chris Osgood, even if Ozzie got him another ring.

*Pat Kane has hot jailbait sisters and his teammates, who are all older than him, are all trying to mack on them. Perverts.

*Surviving a mild case of cancer that didn't stop you from doing something like, say, playing hockey deserves an award.

*The NHL is secretly in love with Sean Avery.

*Billy Smith and Mike Bossy on the same awards show. Where's Dennis Potvin? Probably still out hunting Ulf Nilsson.

*Adam Graves is a better human being than you.

*Mr. Hockey is old. Like, really old. So is Red Kelly.

*Seeing Evgeni Malkin crushed again as a loser doesn't get old.