Bye, Don't Let The Door Hit You ...

By now you've heard the news: come 2015 the Islanders will be moving to Brooklyn. While it does not bring the sheer joy that folding the franchise or moving it to Quebec or Kansas City would, it is still quite the delight.

This weird feeling I have now - happiness, I believe it is called - is making it hard to compose all my thoughts into one cohesive post so I will just go with my Late Hits-style bullet points:

*First off, if anyone gets on the demolition crew for the Mausoleum, let me know. I will pay top dollar to be the one to press the button to implode that dump.

*They are replacing one vile fanbase with another, as the Jersey Shore wannabe's that wandered the Coliseum concourse will be replaced by Brooklyn hipsters. That is actually great news for the Isles, as hipsters do things ironically, like adoring such awfulness as PBR and UCB. So they should come in droves for at least the opener, before they realize that irony is one thing and idiocy is another. But if Wang decided to bring back the Fisherman sweater? He may have a top seller!

*The stink - and not just the one of failure - may remain the same. The Coliseum had many problems with its piping and many parts of Brooklyn already smell like sewage. Tasty.

*In all seriousness, this could hurt the Rangers a little bit. If the Isles keep prices low to attempt to actually fill the 14,500 seat Barclays Center, it would draw many of the disillusioned hockey fans that have been ostracized by Dolan and company. Bringing in those Blue Bloods - and not just for games against the Rangers - would help a franchise that averaged 13,200 announced fans last season and just 10k two years ago. (In fact, not including last season, the Isles had the lowest attendance in the NHL since the lockout - lower than the Devils, Thrashers and the Coyotes.) I, for one, will be attending more than my usual half-dozen Islander games a year now that the train goes right to the building ...

*But those cheaper prices will be key - the Devils play in a nice new building that is easy to get to but they still barely pull in warm bodies. Then again, they are the Devils and no one wants to go to New Jersey if they don't have to so perhaps that is not the best comparison.

*Sure the Isles have a legitimate superstar and a legion of high draft picks in the pipeline but the odds of Charles Wang and his sycophant staff figuring out how to develop those kids into winners is about the same as me replacing Del Zaster on the Blueshirt blueline. The one plus now is that free agents will more more willing to come to town, seeing as they can live in a real city and avoid the traffic on the Meadowbrook.

*But more mercenaries won't be the key - as we've seen with the Rangers. Growing those aforementioned kids into a competitive team is what will truly help the Islanders. They'd be able to fill the falling-apart Fort (UsedTo)NeverLose if the team wasn't such a failure. Hell, they wouldn't need to move to Brooklyn as it would be easier to attract fans, sponsors and voters to help buy Wang that new building he initially wanted.

*The new proximity to the Garden is meaningless for the rivalry - plenty of puckheads rate the Pens and Flyers as the Rangers biggest rivals nowadays over the Isles and Devils. Many times over the last decade it seemed like I was the only one left who still truly loathed the Isles with every fiber of my being.

*This is another slap in the face to Canada, for several reasons. If I recall, Bettman made True North guarantee that they would have 13,000 season tickets sold in Winnipeg before allowing Atlanta to relocate. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell that the Isles could pull that off now. Both Quebec and Toronto could sell 20k tix a night and Bettman would rather wait to rape them for expansion fees rather than give them a broken down, underperforming, mismanaged joke of a franchise.

*It is worth noting that the franchise goaltender Rick DiPietro will still be under contract for the first six seasons that the team is in Brooklyn. DiPietro is currently spending the lockout in the German second division - a league so simple that plugs Chris Stewart and Wayne Simmonds laughed and left to upgrade to the mediocrity that is the Czech Extraliga. And, while in that piss poor German league, DP has played two games and allowed eight goals. Yep. Wonder which will be more rusty in 2015, DP or the exterior of the arena he plays in.

*Bettman saying in the presser that things are coming full circle with the Isles coming into Brooklyn after the long folded Americans (who never played there) is hilarious. The NHL and the Rangers colluded to ensure the Amerks never came back after World War II. The terrific Third String Goalie did a great piece on the history of that franchise.

*This dashes my hopes of a return of the Rovers. The Rangers long-time minor league team used to share the Garden before going the way of the dodo. With the XL Center's lease and AEG's contract to run the building set to expire in August and Barclays sitting empty the elements were there to bring the baby Blueshirts back to the city. Sadly Barclays will instead host a bush league franchise in 2015, rather than a minor league one.

No NHL? No Problem

As it seems like midnight is certain to mark the start of yet another NHL lockout, it is time to look at other options for live hockey; gotta feed the addiction somehow and not everyone can take the ice themselves.

Sure it won't be the Blueshirts but that isn't a bad thing - I've found that less emotional involvement often equals more fun (surprise, surprise). There are many other teams out there at various levels of play and they are far more affordable than the NHL. Road trips are always delightful, but for now let's just focus on the tri-state area:

KHL:
Should the lockout stretch into the New Year, you can catch a pair of regular season KHL games at the new Barclay's Center. Dynamo Moscow will face SKA Petersburg, which could mean Ovechkin vs Kovalchuk.

AHL:
Connecticut Whale - The Rangers' AHL affiliate is just a two and a half hour drive from MSG. Brooksie tweeted that Kreider is the only kid off the NYR roster that will be allowed to play there but Future Blue will still be well represented - Bourque, Miller, Thomas, etc. Plus Jeff Beukeboom is now an assistant coach!

Bridgeport Sound Tigers - One of, if not the most convenient franchise to get to from NYC as Metro-North lets you off just blocks from the arena. For Long Islanders, it is an easy ride on the Port Jeff ferry - leave your car in Port Jeff, take the hour-15 cruise and walk two blocks to the arena. And they then hold the last ferry back until just after the game. It is entirely possible that the Isles will reschedule a few of the cats' games for the Mausoleum, as they did during the last lockout. It's not like they will be using that dump for anything else.

Albany Devils - Another two and a half hour drive from MSG, but a team not really that interesting. The only baby Devil worth watching will likely be Keith Kinkaid, the possible heir to Mmmaaaaaaaaaarrrttyy. Like the Isles with the Sound Tigers, the Devils could resched a few of Albany's games for the Rock; they are already set to play four games down in Atlantic City which might make for fun trips.

Also reachable by car are the other upstate franchises: the Binghamton Senators, the Rochester Americans and the Syracuse Crunch, Tampa's new affiliate (meaning most players won the Calder Cup last year in a dominating performance with Norfolk). The Providence Bruins also aren't too far and they will be hosting the AHL All Star Game at the end of January.

ECHL:
Elmira Jackals - If you are road tripping up to Binghamton, Elmira isn't too far away and the Jackals were the ECHL's regular season champs last year. The Craig Rivet-captained squad is an affiliate of the Ducks and Sens and they play in an old, quaint arena that is easy to get tickets to. The Rangers' E affiliate, the Greenville Road Warriors, will be there on October 13th and November 21st.

Trenton Titans - One of the closest teams to NYC at just over an hour drive, but not in the nicest neighborhood (or so I've been told) and the worst team in the E last season. Greenville visits the Flyers' affiliate on October 12th and November 24th. (Thanks to MNYR for the correction.)

FHL:
Danbury Whalers - Sadly the Brooklyn Aviators are no more, leaving Danbury as the easiest Federal League option. It is reachable via Metro-North - a two hour ride - and they have some raucous fans. Interesting note, Mike Rupp played in Danbury during the last lockout, with the UHL's mob-connected Trashers.

NCAA Division I:
The Frozen Apple - There will be hockey at MSG this fall, that is for certain: the annual college game around Thanksgiving. Cornell will face Michigan on November 24th, allowing Ranger fans to watch this summer's second round pick Boo Nieves in maize and blue.

There are many other D-I collegiate options in the tri-state area, including Army, Canisius, Clarkson, Colgate, Niagara, Princeton, Quinnipiac, RIT, RPI, Sacred Heart, St. Lawrence, UConn, Yale, and Union. Wish I could expound upon them further but have yet to go to a single game at any of them - this lockout should afford me the opportunity to change that.

How are you going to get your fix?

"Justice" Strikes Again

TORONTO (November 4, 2009) – The National Hockey League announced today disciplinary action resulting from NHL game #201 between the New York Rangers and Vancouver Canucks, November 3.

New York Rangers forward Dane Byers has been suspended automatically for one game, while head coach John Tortorella has been fined $10,000. Byers was assessed an instigator penalty at 18:50 of the third period. He will miss Thursday’s game at Edmonton.

The disciplinary action is pursuant to NHL Rule 47.22, which states "a player who is deemed to be the instigator of an altercation in the final five minutes of regulation time or at anytime in overtime, shall automatically be suspended for one game” ... in addition, “the coach shall be fined $10,000 – a fine that will double for each subsequent incident."

It should say "The disciplinary action is pursuant to the NHL Rule that we can suspend anyone who isn't a superstar whenever we want to so we can look like we are against the violence that actually brings fans to our second-tier sport."

Out in Pittsburgh, Gena Malkin smiles.

Intent?

Did anyone see the end of the Detroit game last night? If so, what the hell was that? The Red Wings had a clear goal waived off - one that went into the net after the whistle. The excuse was the relatively-new allowance that the ref 'intended' to blow the play dead before the puck went in. Are you kidding me?

I know they are making new rules in terms of penalties because the players are bigger, stronger and faster, but now they are making one because the refs are oversized? 'I was going to blow the whistle but my damned arm is too long and I couldn't get it to my mouth fast enough.' This is ridiculous! If you really want to open a can of worms with this one, this intent crap can easily be used by the refs to help fix matches. I'm not saying that they do or that Brad Watson did in this case, but this certainly should open the avenue of discussion.

And what the hell were those post-final buzzer muggings that were going on? Several Wings were jumped with clear body blows thrown in an attempt to send a message - something this league has decided is verboden this postseason. But let me guess, there will be no supplemental discipline because Colin Campbell 'intended' to go to bed before the game ended ...

Horrific

That is the only way one can describe the All Stars skills broadcast on Versus right now. It may be the worst telecast of a sporting event I have ever seen, which includes the disgraceful display that Versus made with indoor lacrosse a few years back. The camerawork is poor, the directing is terrible, they are missing live action for bad-angle replays, they are not showing some replays, the ugly graphics promoting non-hockey garbage are everywhere, the announcers are doing a poor job (sorry Doc) ... wow is this awful.

If the NHL thinks they are going to sell the sport this way, they are sorely mistaken.

Killin' Time: Friday Night Edition

After staring blankly at my computer for a few hours trying not to write the same NHL-All-Star-Game-is-a-complete-waste-of-time piece, I figured I would revive the Killin' Time feature from this summer, which featured some random ramblings. So here are five thoughts on this late Friday night:

*On the All Star Game, with the suspensions (or non suspensions depending on where you read it) of Pavel Datsyuk and Nick Lidstrom do you think this was a calculated move? Ken Holland is a well acknowledged hockey genius and before the season started had to know that some of his top guns would be selected to the ASG. So you think that he petitioned the NHL at the time to schedule Detroit's first game after the break against a perceived softie of a team in Columbus? Let's face it, before the rise of Calder Trophy contender Steve Mason, the Jackets were a joke (even with the offseason additions, and especially compared to the Wings). Hmmm ...

*Here is a terrible thought: What would happen if Henrik Lundqvist got hurt this weekend in Montreal? If anyone is up to build a lynch mob to storm the NHL Store to find Bettman, lemme know. And doesn't the pic of Gary to the right just say it all? Smug SOB.

*Even though it was not important enough to make the game story in the local paper, the Canadian rags are jumping all over the Klotz story from Philadelphia where an AHL player suffered seizures after being knocked out during a fight. The subject of fisticuffs in hockey has been a hot topic of late and with the big guns congregating in Montreal, Klotz going down certainly does not bode well for us fight fans. And that is especially so since it comes days before a game that, no matter how bad it really is, the NHL will hail as a complete success. And you can be sure that the heartless display of the league's greed will pass without a single bout. So if you can have such a 'successful' game without any fighting, why should they allow fighting regularly??

*While a lot of eyes in Montreal will be on West Islip's Mike Komisarek, I randomly came across a news tidbit about another Long Island native - goaltender Bobby Goepfert. Goepfert, a goaltender from Kings Park, has apparently left the toil of the North American minor leagues to join the Red Bulls in Salzburg, Austria. Yes, there is a hockey team named after the energy drink and yes, it is a professional organization. Best of luck to Bobby in his new world.

*And if any of you are betting folks, and are really hard up for stuff to lay your money on in this disgrace of a hockey game, take a look at the experienced mid-level stars for your MVP. Taking a look at prior MVPs - aside from Wayne and Mario - many of the players to take the honour came into the game with little to no expectations. The big stars usually have a ton of press commitments so the game is an after-thought and the young players are in too much awe to play their best, leaving quality players with some experience under their belts to rise up - guys like Briere and Staal the last two years, and Bill Guerin, Mark Recchi and Vinny Damphousse among others in years past. That being said, since I would hedge my bets, my picks are Shane Doan from the West and Marc Savard from the East ... enjoy the festivities!

Any Publicity Is Good Publicity?

From NHL's daily media advisory today:

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
The Canada-themed Dec. 15 episode of CBS's "How I Met Your Mother" featured a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey.

How desperate is the NHL? They want to point out minutia like this and yet 'sloppy seconds' - which put hockey on every news and sports station - brought out a six game suspension?

*Shaking head*

Thanks Gary!

Now that the NHL has officially suspended Sean Avery for six games for his pre-game comments, we can certainly expect players around the league to be more guarded in interviews. They are, of course, free to high stick, high hit and board players, as those infractions are much less serious than attempting to get people to tune in and actually watch hockey on television. But back to the subject at hand - now game-day interviews will be as benign and dull as most overtimes. So here is a little guide to what you can expect to hear, courtesy of The Sports Cliche List:

This is always a tough place to play.
On any given day any team is capable of beating another team.
We don't play these games on paper.
We match up well.
We need to turn up the intensity.
We have to step up and make plays.
We have to come out of the locker room fired up.
We have to go out and take care of business.
We can't let the crowd faze them.
We have to leave everything on the ice.
We have to stay hungry.
We can't take these guys lightly.
We have to come together as a team.
We have to believe in ourselves.
We have to play within ourselves.
We have to play like we're capable of playing.
We can't be intimidated.
We have to eliminate the mental mistakes.
We must control the tempo of the game.
We must capitalize on our opportunities.

This is going to be fun! It really showcases the personality of the players and makes them so much more marketable. I know I am pumped up to watch a game right now! Woo hoo! Yay hockey!

Stay Strong Sean!!

Sean Avery is due to meet with Gary Bettman this morning.

One can only hope that Avery can grovel low enough to placate Gary's ego, which may be the only one in hockey bigger than Avery's own. Bettman is married with three kids, there is no way he understands the complications that arise from dating starlets in today's day and age. Maybe he should bring the commish a bottle of wine, some Hannukah presents for the kiddies and a whole lotta humble pie:

'I'm sorry Gary, I'm so sorry. I am not bigger than the game. I am not bigger than you. I did get hockey on ESPN, ESPN2, CNN ... hell, pretty much every news and sports station there is. When were you able to do that? Oh yeah, when you killed the game for a year. I just thought that any publicity is good publicity, they taught me that at Vogue with all of the coked out models. Really, I'm sorry. I will try my hardest to stay in line, keep things as boring as you want, not spread hockey into popular culture and not do anything else to embarrass the game and my teammates any more than my teammates are already embarrassing themselves by playing so piss poorly. Seriously, Marty Turco, stop worrying about me and try to block a puck every now and then. I don't know what else to say Gary, my bad ... please let me play hockey again or I will have to start getting rich selling men's fashions and I'm not ready to do that until I get a Stanley Cup.

Perspective is a valuable thing and scarily enough, Larry Brooks has provided it by pointing out that Avery has already been suspended for as long as Randy Jones was for his terrible hit to Patrice Bergeron and twice as long as Chris Pronger was for trying to decapitate Dean McCammond.

By suspending Avery for any longer, Bettman would send the message that falling into line is more important than the health of the players. The sad thing? In Bettman's case it is more important to him than the health of the players - you can always get more players ...

Scotty The Speechwriter

Being as this Avery incident has gotten the most press - both inside and outside of hockey - that the sport has gotten since last January 1st, do you think Gary Bettman should, during his inevitable, highly-publicized press conference have a speech that is something like this?

"Sean Avery is a disgrace to the game, blah, blah, no room for players with negative attitudes in my happy corporate world, he is a bad seed and a terrible role model for our youth, blah, blah, grandstand, posture, suspension for 15 games, blah, blah and oh yeah, make sure you tune in on January 1st when players of a higher moral caliber - such as American [wait for applause] Patrick Kane - skate in a hockey game outside in Wrigley Field. You guys like baseball, you should like us too! Wrigley! C'mon! Chicago, ivy on the walls, "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" ... Americana! Love me! Love hockey! USA, USA! Tune in, NBC, New Years Day! And, yeah, Sean Avery is a douche. Peace, I'm outta here!'

No (Sense Of) Humour League

Moments after I left work today I received word that Bettman had suspended Sean Avery for his earlier comments, which he felt were - by the code with which he suspended Sean - "detrimental to the League or game of hockey."

This is, of course, ridiculous. How is golden boy Crosby crying to the referees at every infraction not detrimental to the game of hockey? It isn't very sportsmanlike. How is the league's own disciplinarian clearly having a double standard when it comes to deciding suspensions not detrimental to the game of hockey? Oh wait, neither of those are, because they protect the players whom the league has chosen to promote.

This league can't have any controversy, nor any personality. Look at the new ad for the Winter Classic - the players are drones going about their routines. There are no idiosyncrasies, there is nothing to make them unique. There is only the brand. Gotta uphold the brand. The boring, corporate brand. Because no one would tune in to watch personalty ... /sarcasm

I would say that free speech is a cause worth boycotting, but let's face it, Bettman doesn't care about empty seats in his buildings. Attendance is slipping, revenues are slipping, teams are laying off staff ... he doesn't care. He simply doesn't care. Not about you, not about me and certainly not about the game. He still has his job and the old codgers who hired him and keep him employed are so rich that they don't care about losing some cash on their toy teams. Colourful characters might make some noise, might make those owners actually take a look at their teams and see how in trouble they are. So let's keep everyone quite, let's keep them all regurgitating the same boring, blase cliches because they don't rock the boat. No characters are allowed, no actual emotion is allowed, no free speech is allowed. Especially for people like Sean Avery.

Question of the Night

It is October 19th, the NHL season is underway and there are 73 days left before January 1st. So why hasn't there been any word on tickets to the 2009 Winter Classic?

The Chicago Blackhawks have the same FAQ up that they did this summer, when Hawks prez John McDonough told the Daily Herald that "The NHL will make an announcement in the near future regarding ticket availability." The exact date of the article that quote appeared in was July 22nd, and I think we are pretty far past the "near future." I know that they want to cater to and satisfy the Chicago fanbase, but there are those of us who are willing to make the pilgrimage to watch the historic game at Wrigley.

So what's the deal?

(Another) Thought Of The Day

Now I am not about to jump ship, ditch the Rangers for Avangard Omsk and start typing in cyrillic but I do have to hand it to the Russians at the Kontinental Hockey League: They named their four divisions after four Russians who were pivotal in the history of Soviet hockey - Vsevolod Bobrov, Valery Kharlamov, Anatoly Tarasov and Arkady Chernyshev.

Kinda makes you long for the days of Norris, Smythe, Patrick and Adams, huh? They were done away by Napoleon Bettman and would go far towards fans as a goodwill gesture after allowing his teams to rape fans with ever-increasing ticket prices ...

My Apologies

I haven't posted much this week. I wanted to but I find it difficult and ridiculous to post about Sean Avery's taste in swimwear. The players' lives off of the rink are irrelevant (unless you are an opponent, then it becomes fodder). And the politics, well these are just getting ridiculous.

I feel obligated to address the idiotic litigation, so I will just say this: While I am far from a fan of the Dolans, having them removed as the owners of the team (while they maintain ownership of the Garden) would remove the Rangers from New York city so I can't say I am in favour. The Rangers are right in that the NHL is operating like a monopoly, whether it's within their rights or not.

Gary Napolean is continuing to drag the game down in the public eye and wants to ensure that everyone goes down with him. Is it any wonder he gets booed by fans everywhere? His powertrip has steadily driven the sport into the ground and because we, as fans, love our hockey so much we have allowed it - just so we still have a sport.

The Rangers are a big enough target that he can attack them without much retribution - he can't possibly pick on Toronto or Montreal - and the small teams are the ones that make up his primary powerbase. But one has to wonder, once he starts flexing his 'muscles' against the Dolans, how soon until other owners sit up and think, "hey, that could be me that he is going after" and depose their pet commissioner? I hope it's sooner rather than later ...

In the meantime, the draft is tonight. Well, the first round of it anyway. Splitting the draft into two days is just silly and ruins most of the appeal of it. The NHL won't get any better ratings or coverage just because the opening round is on a Friday night and it pisses the hardcore fans who would actually sit and watch hours of the draft off. Of course I will still cover it, but I won't be happy about it! Goshdiddlydarnit. Kevin over at BMR put together a fantastic guide to watching that is a must-read. So check it out and make sure to come back here this weekend for a recap of how the Rangers did.

*Fingers crossed*