Sunday, June 14, 2009

10 Reasons Why The Pens' Cup Win Sucks

1 - Validation for Crosby lovers and man, do I hate Crosby lovers. As if the Caps bandwagon wasn't bad enough, this one is getting ridiculous. And Pens fans travel well so most every Eastern team will be stuck with them invading to chant for their boy hero.

2 - Now they will say Crosby's resume is complete, what with a Cup ring and all. Next stop? The Hall of Fame of course!

3 - Did you think all of those intermission features (even when the Pens weren't playing) were nauseating? Be prepared for more! Many, many, many more. Crosby's day with the Cup, Crosby's return to Cole Harbour as a champion, Crosby's first Cup vs. Gretzky's first Cup, Crosby and Malkin vs. Gretzky and Messier, Crosby's impact on ratings and sales, Crosby, Crosby, Crosby! Just shoot me now.

4 - We risk blindness every time Marc-Andre Fleury opens his mouth and unleashes that day-glo smile. It's just not worth it. And for that matter, Flower? The Flower won a Cup. No Mr. Zero, no China Wall, no Saint Patrick, no Dominator ... Flower. Gee wilikers.

5 - Hal Gill, Stanley Cup champion. 'Nuff said.

6 - Four former Islanders were on the Cup-winning roster: Fedotenko, Godard, Guerin and Satan. Seeing any Islander find success makes me feel ill; four of them? Hurl.

7 - On that note, the Pens were terrible and close to moving. They got a few top draft picks for sucking so bad and will get themselves a new building. If this means that the Islanders have another Cup in their future then I'm really going to be sick.

8 - Jordan Staal just got himself a Cup, joining his brother Eric. Now the two can gang up on poor Marc and he needs all the confidence he can get coming into Tortorella's no-defense-from-the-offense system this fall.

9 - Rob Scuderi's work in the Finals was outstanding. And how he will be a unrestricted free agent. If Jeff Finger could get $14 million over four years (and Redden $39 mil over six years), just imagine the payday for a legitimate playoff hero. And the lock out and salary cap were good things, right?

10 - And finally, every time the Rangers play the Pens next season it won't just be New York facing Pittsburgh, it will be the New York Rangers facing "the Stanley Cup defending Pittsburgh Penguins."


Sammael said...

I was so pissed.

I sent a txt to my old roommate right after the game that read as such.

"NO. Nonononnononnononononnononononono.

I will admit though. I felt bad for Cindy when he got hurt. I don't care how much of a baby he is, I still hoped he wasn't seriously hurt. Even after the cheapshot he took at Zetterburg. Cindy is still a piece of shit.

jamestobrien said...

Sorry Scotty.

Sean Leahy said...

This post warms the cockles ;)

Faraway Fan said...

I thought it was awesome, so ha! You guys sound like a bunch of 11 year old bullies...."jealous much?"

Daniel said...

i couldnt agree with you more, next season is going to be all cindy, cindy cindy. i really wish the wings hadnt lost

Matt said...

The Pens were never going to move, it was just a threat to get the city of Pittsburgh to build them a new arena.

But yeah, I agree with all your points. Especially the Crosby-lovers one.

Noah's Art said...

i hate it. as if there weren't enough bandwagon pittsburgh sports (steelers and pens) fans at my school to begin with. grrrrrreeeeeeaaaaaaat...

kels said...

#3 is a good one I hadn't thought of yet - blech!

#10 is the ultimate reason I didn't want them to win. Division rivals = constant reminders.

#8 - I actually see it as a motivator for M. Staal. Seeing two of his three brothers already having won it; he'll want it that much more, hopefully.

Pete said... least I have a reason to wear my Malkin jersey now.

Anonymous said...

none of those guys were really isles that long. the fans are a lot more obnoxious than any of the current players - meaning the isles. really hope they move. if they ever win another cup before we win our next i'm done with hockey for good - unless they're in kc when they win it.

re pitt. they'll win several over next few yrs. they are already off my list of teams to see at the garden for the coming yr.


Unknown said...

#5 - You can also say "George Parros Stanley Cup champion"

#6 - Bill Guerin is a class act and has been a great hockey player for most of his career. To begrudge his Cup win just because of a team he once (briefly) played on is ridiculous. Be a fan of the game.